Sunday, July 14, 2013

Things to Do in Pennsy...when you can't sleep

*Walk heavily to annoy the downstairs neighbors with the noisy kids.

*Scratch cat's chin.  Tell her just a little bit longer and Mommy will go to bed, then sit down at the computer.

*Put a favorite song on repeat cuz you always wanted to get the words exactly right but feel like cheating if you look up the lyrics.  Memorize Hard Luck Woman

*Check all six of your email accounts for spam.  Delete spam or anything that you just don't want to be bothered with.

*Go through your Twitter feed to find something: sexy; sensitive; astrological; touching; noteworthy; funny; smartass; significant; newsy...  WTH!!  Go with the sexy, sign related and smartass!!  If you have to be awake and alone, you might as well get a laugh or two out of it.

*Another Twitter occupation - try to find everything out there about your favorite wrestler. I'm not a stalker.  I am a devoted, loyal fan!!  Or that's what the defense attorney says.  (JUST KIDDING)

*Catch up on all of your Facebook games you haven't played since the last time you couldn't sleep (which was last night).

*Again for Facebook - annoy all your friends by sharing every single cat meme, especially anything that is a cute kitten or Tard the Angry Cat.

*Another Facebook pastime - annoy all your friends (and you have already lost a few because of the cute cat pictures) by sharing pictures of your favorite wrestler(s).  Hey, some of the ladies like Vipers and Gingers!! A few others even like big, beautiful, bald beasties.  (Seriously, I WAS KIDDING!!)

*Aggravate the cat by refusing to walk away from the computer.

*Get cat all happy when you get up to go pee.

*Piss cat off royally when you walk to kitchen to make tea but do not produce the much sought after treats, which she feels she deserves because you refuse to shut off the computer.

*Watch cat finally get disgusted, curl up and go to sleep...while you learn the lyrics to God Gave Rock n Roll To You.

*Walk to the living room, purposely disturbing the cat, just to see her give you the "Glare of Death".

*Discover there is nothing but infomercials and old House reruns on TV.  Walk back to computer under the watchful gaze of a feline now plotting your untimely demise.

*Check all six email accounts for spam...there is none. You did that already, dummy.  You would have remembered that if you weren't so fucking tired!!!

*Head to the kitchen for a banana.  You eat healthy now and there is not one bit of junk in the house for comfort.  Grab a handful of almonds while you're at it.

*Sit back down at the computer after properly disposing of the banana peel, with visions of Elmer Fudd in your brain.  Giggle wildly, causing cat to turn her back to you.

****Start all over with a new song****

****Repeat till daylight****

#shuffle list to keep it interesting


  1. I hope you are asleep now...good golly! I hate when I have sleepless nights,even the computer becomes a bore.

  2. No, I'm not asleep. I'm watching Pitch Perfect for the second time this morning. I love the movie! The acapella music is FABULOUS!!!