We are never first, rarely second, seldom third....typically not even in the top five of anything going on in our own life. We are taught hard lessons to remind us of our place in the order of the universe. We are required to know our role, and not buck up against it. When we forget, it hurts.
I got such a reminder today...one I won't forget. I'll add it to the other lessons I have learned over the course of my life. Some people have no reason to dream very big...because those dreams rarely come true. I'll leave what's broken where it fell, and keep moving, like I always do. I will replace the guards that I had allowed to drop, fix the chinks in the armor so they can't ever be found again. There will be new stitches, then new scars, but they will hold together the small piece that is left of my heart.
Meanwhile...
I will continue to work toward my adjusted goals: weight loss; my degree; trying to get some sleep; surviving being alone in this world.
I'll keep cheering on Ryback. He lost tonight's match but he pretty much rocked the bout till the end. His opponent got lucky, because that's how the script was written.
I am now under 200 pounds. I made it to 197 today. A small, kind of hollow victory, but a victory all the same.
I guess it's something, in my scheme of things.
Dreams should never be regarded as silly, stupid or anything like that. Dreams can and sometimes do become goals. Goals become accomplishments. When this happens, our place in the universe shifts and we are better for it no matter what.
ReplyDeleteLife is full of disappointment and yea it sucks but it's what we do with those lessons that count, that matter, that get us to the next dream, goal, and accomplishment.