Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Always Remember, Never Forget

Change is good.  Change is necessary.  To be static, to be stationary, is to be dead.

But, change is not always welcome..  I was thinking how the world has changed since I was a girl.  Today's anniversary stands out in my mind.  Today is a day of remembrance.  It was and is a very sad day for this nation...for the world.

Humanity lost so much on 9/11/01, not just 3000 lives.  We lost a part of our collective soul.  That such a small group of men could create such devastation and horror, a piece of what makes us caring beings disappeared that day.

Use of something that is as everyday as an airplane, they flew over all the time.  We thought nothing of it, until that late summer day in NYC.  On that day, and for many days to come, every flying machine was suspect.  We searched the skies, waiting for the next attack.  We lived in fear.

Where I live in the Mid Atlantic, it's just a few hours drive from every location attacked that day.  Have I gone to any of the memorials?  No, I haven't.  It is very likely I won't ever go.  I honor the lost lives, but to go to those locations would be destructive to my innermost being.  The replays of the plane crashing into the South Tower and the resulting fireball; billowing dust and debris as one tower, then the other fell; the days, weeks of news coverage, rescue, so many others here and around the world, I was haunted by those images.  I would close my eyes and see them over & over again.  Granted, I am extremely sensitive to anything even remotely similar to those images.  That day started several weeks of bad dreams and the addition of anxiety medication, because, though I had lost no one...I felt as though each soul lost was someone I loved.  

Not only did my heart break for those lost and their families, but for all of those who had to participate in the search and rescue, and the search and recovery efforts.  Searching for the injured, dying and dead, in the rubble of such a great tragedy, it is no wonder those brave people still struggle today with the unresolved emotions that horrible time brought.

I miss the national closeness of that time after 9/11.  For a while, our nation was a land filled with people joined in a common cause.  That is all gone now.  We have such divisiveness on every level in our country.  So many trying  to change the very foundations of our great home.  Gone are the flags hanging proudly from nearly every small town porch (and many big towns too).  Gone are the warm smiles at strangers.  We are back to distrust and no sympathy.

The planes fly again over my little hometown, making their trails across the sky, with lights that blink in the darkness of night.  The military jets that flew constantly in this region after the tragedy have been directed somewhere else.  "They" built or are building grand memorials but today, I will ignore the memorial grounds for something much more personal like a few minutes of quiet time, giving thanks, asking why and praying for strength for those that still fight the horror.  The nightmares will not bother me because I will not tempt fate by watching any of the programs the networks show (if they even program for it).  I will remember.  I will not forget.  This day is bolted into my heart like it is to the national consciousness.  

I will thank God for one other thing today...for my brother who came home from the hospital.  Today is his birthday.  After this weekend's scare, whether we are friends or not, he is my big brother and I love him very much.  Happy birthday, Bro!  Here's to at least another 30!! :)

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