Writer's note: Stick with me on this one, okay??
I am glad that at midnight tonight, 2013 is over. In total this year, I've had about 4 good months, and they weren't even strung together. I've lost two fur-babies this year. My cats are my kids because I was not blessed with my own human children. I lost my job, and didn't find another till December. (The new job does not start till mid January.) One of my best friends was diagnosed with lymphoma. I've had two failed attempts at quitting smoking. (Yes, I've been smoking again for about 2 months.) A few other things happened over the year, but they do not need to be discussed here. In general, it's been a stressful, sort of crappy year. Try as I might, I've had a hard time being positive about these things.
BUT...
...the year was not a total bust. The months that were good, were really good!! I know that, and remarkably enough, I am able to celebrate that fact. In the past, that would not have even been in my range of thought.
Though I been very lax since Thanksgiving with my diet, I'm still a whole hell of a lot lighter than I was at the beginning of 2013. I allowed myself a few too many Christmas cookies (my mom's icebox cookies are the BOMB!), some peanut butter fudge, pumpkin spice cake (with a rocking cream cheese icing), and poor man's cake (loaded with raisins & nuts but also white processed flour & white processed sugar - like most of the other goodies I've listed). Oh yeah, and some mashed potatoes...I love mashed potatoes with real butter. I didn't pig out on any of them. They are a few things for which I have a huge weakness (which is why I avoid them). Without doing the needed exercise to make sure they didn't stay longer than the digestive tract required, they have made themselves at home.
In fact, I haven't been to the gym much recently. That WILL change. I am the only one that can pick my lazy butt up and go to the gym. I need to do it. I want to do it...but my will to do it has been inexcusably weak. It made me feel better. The exercise kept my weight loss moving forward. I don't want to go in reverse. I am way better off than where I was last year this time, even with the slide backwards. BUT...I definitely deserve better than where I am at right now.
I did find a new job after being exited from my last one. Finding the job may have taken longer than I expected but it is different from what I've done before. I have to believe the reason it took so long is because all the other jobs weren't right for me, even though most of them were in areas where I have experience.
I took advantage of the unemployment time to start back to school. That has not been as easy as I thought it would be. I actually have to work for good grades. Maybe once I get the degree, a better job will be possible. But the one I'm starting in January has the potential to be a real career and a true money maker. If that happens, I will stick with it. Those things are important when you are in my advancing maturity (Baahahahahaha!!).
I made some really great new friends, reconnected with some lost friends, and strengthened bonds with some old friends. They have all put up with my struggle to try and get on a happier, more positive course for my life. My positive/negative moods switch back forth very quickly some days. I have more trouble staying positive than my wonderful friends have putting up with my mood swings, it seems. God bless them.
My best friend with lymphoma, well, she's kind of become a hero for me. She was really listening to me during my ongoing attempt to become a better, more positive person. When that awful diagnosis came, she was ready for it. She's kicking lymphoma's ass and not taking names. She's got a fabulous attitude. She's even made a change in her diet in an effort to fight as seriously as possible. She's becoming my example of how I would like to find myself looking at life. I don't want to get cancer to make it happen.
Which brings me to my failed attempts to quit smoking. It's such an easy bad habit to slip into for me. It's been my crutch for way longer than I care to remember. But my hero bf, she quit. She smoked as long I have. I AM going to quit. I plan on making it happen once I start working. The new schedule will be a big help. I will have to develop new habits. That might as well be one of them.
I still miss my babies, ShadowBug and Jessee. That I cannot change. They were a large part of my existence for nearly two decades. At the end, 'Bug and Jess were both very sick. It broke my heart to do it, but I let them go where they needed to be, the Rainbow Bridge. I know they are waiting for me. I fully believe that the good Lord is keeping an eye on them for me. I still have my littlest baby, Tink. She's become my heart and soul. Since it seems no one wants all the love I have in my heart, I give it to her. I haven't added a new baby to the household. I don't think I am ready for another fur-baby. That will be a decision for another time, when I'm on better financial footing. A shelter cat or feral kitten will be very happy to meet me, someday in the future.
In total sincerity, and with very little sarcasm...I say good riddance and be gone! You had your moments of fun, but I'm very seriously done with you, 2013. I'm glad you're over.
Happy New Year, my friends! May your heart and family be blessed in the coming year with all the joy and love you richly deserve.
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