Botox for my Soul

I recently started back to school, after graduating from high school almost 30 years ago.  My graduation doesn't seem that long ago to me, but it is.  Thinking about how long it has been still amazes me.  I don't feel 30 years older, especially not mentally.  I know I am, but I'm not, if that makes sense.

I guess if I had children, I would feel more my age.  I know I don't look my age.  I know I don't act my age normally.  I've matured.  I haven't grown up.

I have surrounded myself with amazing people.  My younger friends, in particular, keep me feeling more youthful than the calendar reflects.  They teach me about what is now 'cool', for lack of a better word.  I find out about new music, new styles, new slang...all sorts of things.  I get to share my stories, my experiences, my knowledge.  I give support and they give it back.  

When I'm 'feeling' close to my actual age, I prefer to be around my younger friends.  They have the ability to snap me out it very quickly.  My nephews and nieces, some of my friends from my old job, a Twitter friend or two...they can work a miracle of time travel for me.  I'm not living in my past, because my past wasn't much fun.  They provide me with a great present, and a fantastic future.

My younger friends made me look at who I had become and made me decide I was not happy with that person.  I wanted to like what I had reflected back to me, not only in the mirror, but also in the eyes of the people around me.  I've been given a remarkable gift of love and friendship that many people like myself overlook.  I don't want to act my age.  I want to feel and be as young as I can be, for as long as I can be.

I do have many friends who are my age.  They are fabulous people, wonderful influences.  My friends in my age group have been supportive of my efforts to become my 'more'.  They are terrific cheerleaders.  They are my sounding board when I need to think or sort out an issue.  They tell me that I have inspired them to make changes which blows my mind.  I never set out to be an inspiration for anyone, but if something I have done motivates someone else...awesome!

My grandmother use to refer to it as counting your blessings.  One younger friend calls it staying positive.  I've commented on this before.  Whether it is my true nature, or learned, I've not been a positive person.  I have come to realize being positive doesn't mean that I'll be that way every moment, of every day, for eternity.  It means that regardless of circumstance, I am going to look for what's good in the situation and not at all the things that make it bad.

So whether it is being positive or being able to count my blessings doesn't really matter.  Either term suits, and suits it well.  I'm going to strive to stay young, work to stay positive, fight to finish eliminating the weight I want rid of and get my college degree.  Somewhere in there, I hope to find gainful employment, and I know I will.  Maybe even, I'll find love.  Who knows?  I'm going to remember that for all the things that may seem to go ass backwards, there are more things that will always be just right.

My blessings are many.  My greatest blessings are my family and friends.  They have been like botox for my soul.  The results are beautiful.