Goals, not resolutions

It is a new year.  The last one, had it's moments.  

I am looking forward to having the best year ever.  I know there will be joy, sadness, celebrations, disappointments, fun and boredom...all the things that make this LIFE.  I have decided it is all in the attitude whether or not I concentrate on the positive events or the negative events.  

Starting out with a new job on the close horizon, new classes to do while I work on my associates degree...just two of the things I am anxious to get started on.  I've got my ongoing self improvement project to work on - getting to my weight loss goal is the big one, but also working the decreased me into some kind of fit shape.  

I've also decided to stop dyeing my hair, at least for a while.  I've earned the gray hair that I see when I look at my roots, LOL!  Maybe not the way most women earn them, but I've earned them all the same.  Part of my new attitude is to simply accept who I am and do what I need to make myself happy.  Being happy is a choice, after all.
If I have to dye my hair to be accepted by anyone, well, then they don't deserve to be in my life.  But if I want to dye my hair for myself, then I will.  

I am forty seven years old.  I've fought against the fact I am nearly fifty for a few years.  I am not going to fight any longer.  I am going to revel in it.  No, I'm not impressed that there are things I haven't accomplished yet.  As long as I am here, I'm going to start enjoying what I have accomplished, while I continue to work on doing some of the other things I want to do.  

I cannot keep pissing and moaning about what I don't have.  I need to start celebrating what I do have.  I have a clear mind, good health, and family & friends that love me.  Okay, so I'm still single.  Whatever!!  No, I don't have children.  Truth be told, till recently, that wasn't a big deal.  Now I realize some of what I have missed out on.  Just because I physically cannot have children of my own doesn't mean I can't be a mom.  I've been called Mom since high school.  Maybe when I am in a more stable place financially, I will look into adopting or something like that.  Maybe I'll get involved with a Big Sister program, who knows?   Or, I'll just go to the shelter, acquire another cat and be a mom that way.  

There is so much that is possible.  It is just a matter of putting the work into it.  Okay, I can do that.  I know it has to be in steps.  I get a little overwhelmed if I try to do too much at once.  I'm a multitasker but I know my limits.  So, step by step it will be.  

First step, back to the gym; back to school; quit smoking; start the job.  Second step will be whatever I decide it to be.  I'm not there yet.  

Contrary to past complaints, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Sometimes, it is the train...and I have to move off the track for it to pass.  But the shine I see is normally the light of reaching a goal.  I need to remember that.  No, it won't all be easy.  Yes, I may complain.  I'm going to keep moving, watching that patch of light get bigger and brighter.  

Hello 2014 - put up your dukes.  I'm here to fight.