Valentines Day

   

      Depressing when the only ones to wish you Happy Valentines Day are people you do not know.  LOL!  Welcome to my life!  Of course, I received multiple shares of pictures on Facebook offering well-wishes and cheery thoughts for a wonderful Valentines.  I even had a customer on the phone today wish me Happy Valentines Day, which caught me completely by surprise.  It put an immediate smile on my face, that is, until I started to see managers delivering flowers, etc., to their employees who have someone to send them pretty posies in lovely vases.  Smile gone...poof!!!

     I'm too old to have romantic notions of undying love, yet I still have them.  I think it is a genetic thing for most women.  Maybe it is the way we are trained by books, movies, magazines and all other forms of public mass media.  "Some day, my prince will come..."  Go to hell, Walt Disney princesses!!!  Right now I would be happy with a chubby bald fella in birth control glasses, as long as he was decent to me.

     I was actually brought up that there is not always a 'someone for everyone'.  I just didn't think I would be one of the poor schlubs that would get stuck being alone for all of her existence.  I read the classic grand romance novels.  I thought once that I would find my Rhett Butler, my Mr. Rochester, my Heathcliff, or, dare I say, my Sir Percy Blakney (The Scarlet Pimpernel is my FAVORITE classic romance!!)  Now I would settle for Hannibal Lecter, or Count Dracula.

     There is nothing like a holiday based on the commercialization of love and chocolate to make a girl feel very alone in this world.

     I showed them...the only red I wore was my hair.

     I can't quite wrap my heart around the fact that my entire amazing, wonderful, creative self will be wasted on just me.  No nice guy to wrap his arms around me.  No smile to greet me when I come in the door, even if the smile is because I picked up KFC for supper.  No musky funky smell to breathe in when he has been out in the yard working and makes his way back inside to wash up.  None of it...and I mean, NONE of it.  There's no part time lover thing going on here either.  At my age, I can proudly admit, I am still a virgin.  It was always a personal decision for me, as well it should have been.  I mean, that's a one time only gift you give to the gentleman you love.  Once it is given, there is no take it back.  Well hell, I forget what the fucking wrapping paper looks like, it's been so long ago that particular gift was wrapped the fuck up.

     I also thought I would have a couple rug-rats and maybe a nice house too.  Yeah, was I ever wrong.  The kid thing didn't, couldn't and will never happen...but that is probably a good thing.  I am the reason people warn others about redheads and fiery tempers.  No to the nice house too!  A two bedroom apartment (the rent is good), even though I only need the one bedroom since my buddy, T, now lives with her man, is where I call home.  I'd take on another roomie but I get a bit hinky at the thought of someone else 'gettin' busy' in my home.  And let us just say, a house of my own isn't in the cards anytime soon.

     Being middle aged and alone is truly not what I imagined for myself.  Not that I thought that there would be an English gentleman who rescues French noblemen on the sly, but I really didn't picture myself still alone and 'intact' at this age either.  Oh well, I guess he could always show up tomorrow.  With my luck, I will walk right past him and he won't even notice me.        

My Babies

     Well, you have all met my Sisterhood.  As I wrote, they are important to me like...well...oxygen.  There are others who are vital to me also...my cats.  I introduced you to ShadowBug previously.  She now resides at the Rainbow Bridge with several other babies that had gone before her.  But I have 2 others still with me, Jessee and Tink.

   
     Jessee is my 'old man' at 17 and starting to show his age.  He has been mine since the day he was born.  I lost my heart the moment I saw that blaze of white that goes up the ridge of his nose.  In fact, that's how he got his name.  Like Jesse James, he stole my heart.
     Jess is basically a shy guy.  Very few people get close to him but me.  He has learned to accept pets from my ERT, but no one else can touch him unless I hog-tie him in some sort of death-like vise grip, including the vet.  He is my foot warmer and a purring machine.  He tolerates very little nonsense from anyone, especially Tink (the baby).

  
     Tink (the Terror) is my baby.  She was originally supposed to be my former roommate's cat, but that didn't last long.  Guess Tink figured out who was the true cat fanatic of the household and she quickly laid claim to my heart too.  She is still full of the rambunctious energy of a young cat, ripping back and forth like some kind of manic, waging war against unseen foe.  She has perfected a cat's knack of coming into a room, looking around wide eyed then running away in apparent terror.
     Since ShadowBug left us for the Bridge, Tink has taken over the comforting and snuggling duties, which she is very good at.  At bedtime, she paces for a little while till she finds the perfect spot then she begins to 'make biscuits' till I either have to hold her paws or she falls asleep, which ever comes first.  I have figured out that she loves to have the space between her shoulders stroked gently till she falls asleep, so that has begun to replace the need to hold down her paws when she gets too enthusiastic kneading.  Tink is my latest little love-bug, and I hope she is with me as long (if not longer) than Bug was, because each cat that leaves me takes a piece of me with them.  This little girl has already staked out a big portion of my soul...I can little afford to have her leave me anytime soon...and God willing, she won't.  

Introducing the Redneck Sisterhood, part 2

     I recently introduced you to the members of my little group of friends called the Redneck Sisterhood, the family members.  My crew includes some non-blood family members too.  One will eventually be true family.  Of that, I am sure.  The others have been so vital to my existence for so long that they are family, regardless of the lack of marital or blood connections.

     The soon to be family member is my nephew's girl, Britt.  She has a fantastic sense of humor.  She is a larger than life personality, which is a requirement if you are going to be involved with my nephew.  Occasionally, a little slow on the uptake, which makes her all the more funny because she tends to disregard the chuckles that are at her expense.  Tall and pretty, she has the most beautiful eyes.  I look forward to having her become my actual niece someday.

     I'll follow Britt with my adopted big sister, Nicee.  She is a good old girl with big heart.  She adopted all of my family as her own when we became friends through work.  She has battled cancer, and won, but continues to struggle with the side effects of the treatment used.  It doesn't matter what kind of day she has had, if I call her to bitch about my shitty day, she will listen and console.  She has heard many of my tales several times over and laughs each time like it's the first time.  Her life isn't always the greatest (like most of us), but she always seems to find a way to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

    The final two members of the Sisterhood are my Debs.  

     Deb #1 I refer to as Debbie.  It is what I have always called her since we were 12 years old, which is when we first met.  We were partners in all kinds of mischief as teens.  Then she grew up, got married (I was maid of honor) and had kids.  We have lost touch for extended periods of time, but when we reconnect, it's like we talked to each other the day before.  We have seen each other through the loss of parents (her mom, my daddy) and the illnesses of the other two parents.  We meet up for breakfast whenever schedules allow, try to talk on the phone at least 2 or 3 times a month, and generally know that we always have the other one's back in all things.  She is my mainstay in my faith and upbringing when I start to forget where I came from too.  I love her so much for always being there, never mind the circumstances.  

     Deb #2 I call Deb...or my ERT (evil redheaded twin).  We met originally because of another member of the group, T.  They were best buddies growing up, and still are in some ways.  You cannot forget the person you shared so much with growing up...like I am with Debbie.  Anyway, things happen.  ERT & I lost touch.  She moved about an hour away, so it was impossible to accidentally reconnect, but we did, thanks to Facebook.  I am so glad that we have picked up our friendship.  We are closer friends than we were before. We laugh about the same things, have the same sarcastic streak...it's because of her I got back into following professional wrestling.  We tag-team against anyone dumb enough to take on either one of us.  She is the type of best friend you share off color jokes and risque pics of muscle men with, if you know what I mean.  She gets my twisted side because she is just as twisted.  Despite the age difference (she is a 'tad' older), we are twins.  I love her...she brings out the fun side that I forget I have sometimes.

     There is an honorary member to the Sisterhood.  She doesn't get to go to the lunches we have and she has never met any of the other members, but she is still an important part of my clique.  That's Lisa.  We were friends in high school, not necessarily extremely close, but we were more that passing acquaintances in the hall.  She married not long after high school and headed off to the life of a military wife.  20 odd years and her 2 girls later, we are very good friends once more...again, thanks to Facebook.  We share many laughs over the distance.  She is a great support for me when I am feeling blue and angry.  She is a fantastic encouragement to me.  She is actually the reason I started this blog.  I don't know what I would do without her now.  I am so glad she returned to become a fixture in my life.  Love ya Lisa!!  

     I try to gather my girls for a lunch every other month or so.  The eight of us laugh, cry, grumble and growl together, have some good local chow and just enjoy the time we get away from our lives for a few hours.  I like to think, because of me, we now all have a ready support system when unthinkable and inevitable things happen.  When Daddy passed away, they were all there.  Some for obvious reasons, but the others because they knew we needed them...and they were there, holding on to my family, providing support that was desperately needed.  

     Everyone should have a Sisterhood (Brotherhood, Friend-hood) like I have.  It makes such a remarkable difference to daily survival, knowing someone is always there for you.  I tend to live a solitary existence on a daily basis.  For a few hours bi-monthly, I surround myself with wonderful friends, and that makes the 'alone' life bearable.  I am so glad to have my Redneck Sisterhood...I love each of them for who they are and what they have meant in my life.  I could not get through this life without them, and I thank God for them everyday.